Tending To Your Feelings

For many years, I struggled with the concept of feelings. I prided myself on the fact that I never got angry and I never cried. As much as I thought this was a great quality – it kept me from experiencing so much of myself and kept me in a lot of pain. Even though I claimed I was “feelingless” – they were coming out all over the place… at the stranger in the car in front of me, at loved ones, sideways, upside down, judgments, self abuse, etc. When I began to identify, acknowledge and express my feelings I learned to hear their messages and began to trust them to do their job – to guide me, direct me and to clear me out.  If not tended to they often like to act out.  They are trying to get our attention and when we don’t listen or acknowledge them they come out in ways in which you probably don’t want them to.  One of the most important relationships you can develop is one with your feelings.

All our feelings are okay.  It is what we do with them and how we take care of them that counts.   They often carry a message for us and are here to guide us. Our feelings are powerful. If you learn to listen to them, express them and understand what they are trying to tell you, they are one of your most valuable inner tools.

This month, I invite you to get to know your feelings. Here are some questions that will help you to get in touch with them.

1. What are your beliefs about feelings? (ie. do you believe some feelings are ok and others are not?)

2. Do you have a prominent feeling? Are angry most of the time? Sad most of the time? Happy most of the time? Are there particular feelings you are experiencing on a regular basis?

3. Are your feelings authentic? Do you hide them or cover them up? Are they out of control and coming out sideways?

4. How do you express your feelings? (ie. when you are having strong feelings, what do you do with them?)

5. Where do you experience feelings in your body? Notice when you feel sad, frustrated, angry, shameful, excited, happy, content, peaceful – where in your body do you feel these feelings?

6.  Is a particular feeling trying to tell you something?

Get to know your feelings, embrace them, invite them in and listen to their messages… you will be surprised at what they tell you and how they can help guide you in life.

April 26, 2010 at 12:30 am 1 comment

An Attitude of Gratitude

Are you ready to feel more joy, happiness, acceptance and peace? If so, gratitude is a must do!

How many times do you say the words “thank you,” in a day? How often do you thank your mattress for allowing you to have a good night sleep, how about your refridgerator for keeping your food cold, or your car for getting you from place to place? How about your legs for all the thousands of miles they have carried you? How about your eyes for allowing you to see and read this newsletter? We often take for granted the many gifts and miracles we are blessed with in each moment of our lives.

Have you ever said to yourself, once I get a promotion, get a new boss or if I’m in a new relationship or I get another job or a new client or a new car or a different career or a new outfit or even move to a new city… then I will finally be happy and feel satisfied. Does this sound like you? And then once you attain whatever it is that you wanted you still feel a void or a need for something more in order to feel complete. I’ve certainly felt this way several times. Often we feel our lives would be better if we changed, achieved, attained or gained something different or new. When you come from a place of gratitude you feel abundant and blessed with the everyday miracles in life. You are able to enjoy the greatness and gifts of every moment. You feel thankful for exactly what you have and where you are at.

At times, when I feel down and in a rut and things aren’t happening like I think they “should” be, I get out my journal and make a list of all the things I am thankful for. Usually within minutes, I begin to feel better and my faith starts to kick in again. When you focus on what is missing or what you are lacking you disempower yourself. By focusing on all the things you are thankful for you will create a forward flowing motion, feel empowered and what you appreciate will grow!

This week, challenge yourself to take a few minutes each day and write a list of 10 things you have to be grateful for in your life and watch your feelings toward your outer world change almost instantly.

April 7, 2010 at 12:40 am Leave a comment

Cherishing YOU

Are you tired of beating yourself up, putting yourself down and making yourself wrong? Do you find yourself spending more time looking for what’s wrong with you and where you don’t measure up rather than what is right with you? Telling yourself, I’m not good enough or worthy enough? I can’t do it? I don’t deserve it? Are you sick of depriving your spirit of the love it’s craving?

These are merely thoughts, opinions and beliefs we have about ourselves and thankfully they CAN be changed. They often operate at an unconscious level and most of the time you are not even conscious of what you are thinking and saying to yourself. Self-defeating thoughts are not loving, they do not support, cherish or reflect the love our precious being so deserves.

It is not until you bring awareness to these thoughts and begin to notice them, that you can change them. It is said that we have about 60,000 thoughts a day and 95% of these thoughts are the always the same. With that in mind – can you imagine the things you are telling yourself over and over again every day? This is not meant as an opportunity to judge yourself but simply an opportunity to notice your thoughts and how they might separate you from loving yourself.

Each and every one of us needs to hear how special, loved, cared for, wonderful, loving, protected and safe we are. Choosing thoughts that are loving, nourishing, supportive and encouraging lead to more peace, joy, love and contentment. Really cherish yourself in your thoughts and give yourself the sweet love you so deserve.

This week give yourself the gift of creating a stream of thoughts that will support you in loving and cherishing yourself even more. Imagine yourself as a small child, what do you need to hear to feel special, loved, cared for and supported. What do you need to say to yourself? Write these loving thoughts down on a beautiful sheet of paper, you can use your favourite colours and if you wish, decorate this paper with drawings, picture or stickers. Keep this paper close to you at all times and re-read it at least once a day for the next 30 days. If you are noticing a thought stream coming up that is self-defeating or you just feel like you need a little extra love, be sure to bring out your piece of paper and read it over and over again.

Wishing you a week full of sweet, precious love!

Inspirational Quote

‘May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.’ St. Theresa’s Prayer

March 28, 2010 at 3:41 pm Leave a comment

Making Powerful Choices

Each choice we make minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day has an impact on the condition of our lives and what we have created for ourselves in the present. Every choice we have made has led us to where we are right now.

There have been times in my life when I have said to myself and others, “I just didn’t have a choice, I had to do it, it was the only thing I could do”. Though at times it may not seem like it, in every situation there are always choices available to us. It is our have to’s, need to’s, should’s and would’s that cause us to believe that we do not have a choice. Each choice contributes to where we are in our lives in this present moment and each choice we make in the present determines where we will be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.

For a period of time in my life, I continuously complained that there were no men left to date. I would sit around on Friday and Saturday nights working, chatting to friends on the phone and complaining that I never met men and worrying about how I would ever meet a guy. Looking back, how could I have met a man? I wasn’t making any choices that were in alignment with my desire. I was making the choice to be committed to staying safe on my couch and expending my energy worrying that I will be alone forever. This went on for years… When I began to make choices that were in alignment with my desires by joining an internet dating site, saying “yes” to social invitiations and opening myself to the idea of dating, it was really quite amazing how many dates I was asked on and how many men began to show up in my life. This is just one example.

Often times choices can be very uncomfortable and our emotions/feelings want to sway us in a different direction. This is why it is so easy to stay stuck in our repetitve patterns, because they are safe and comfortable. It is imperative to put support structures into place, for example, pairing up with a support buddy, attending a seminar or workshop, putting constant reminders around your home, care, office or hiring a coach. Whether your goal is healing from an addiction, choosing a new career, saving money, attracting a new relationship, writing a book, creating more fun and leisure in your life etc, it is important to put support structures in place that make sense to you to keep you accountable and on-track.

This week, choose an area of your life that you would like to look different and make one choice that will route you in the direction you want to go. For example, if you are looking for a new career, perhaps, you might want to work on your resume or call a recruiter or do some research about industries that interest you on the internet. If you are feeling lonely, perhaps you might want to call a friend, leave the house and go somewhere when you would normally stay home alone(bookstore/coffee shop) or you might want to look into an interest group.

March 15, 2010 at 10:00 pm Leave a comment

Taking Risks

To move forward, achieve our goals and feel our aliveness we need to take risks. We need to step into the unknown, try something different and do something even if it scares us. If you are feeling bored with your life and it seems monotonous and uninteresting, it is a sure sign that you are not taking enough risks and fear is holding you back from being all that you want to be. In order for us to grow and feel alive we need to strengthen and stretch our risk taking muscle. This means to take the chance of feeling stupid, being vulnerable, making a mistake or asking for help.

Taking risks help us to propel forward, feel our aliveness and recognize our abilities and our dreams. When we fail to take risks we become stagnant, bored and unexcited about life. Often, as humans we will stir up drama or participate in unhealthy activities or behaviours in order to fill the void. Often people ask me, how can I feel better? how can I be more engaged in life? why do I feel so depressed? If you are someone who often wonders the answers to these questions… perhaps, it is time to TAKE A RISK.

This week, make a commitment to take a risk in one area of your life; try something new, speak your truth, set a boundary, if you always wear black – wear a bright red shirt, express a need, ask for help, join a group, smile at a stranger, say “hi” to someone in an elevator, sign up for a course, go for a walk, connect with an old friend, send a resume, say no, say yes, try a new activity or sport, volunteer, visit a museum, do something you have always wanted to do, tell someone you love them. Move outside your comfort zone and TAKE A RISK!

Ask yourself, am I taking risks and living my life or is fear living it for me?

March 8, 2010 at 10:11 pm 1 comment

Give Yourself Some Lovin!!!

Do you want more love in your life? Are you craving love? Are you wanting to attract a loving relationship? Are you desiring more love from your partner? Are you looking outside yourself to fulfill your need for love? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, I suggest it is time to start giving yourself more love. Give yourself the most precious gift of all and look within and begin to listen to and fulfill your love needs and watch it reflect back to you in your outer world.

If you are feeling that you are not getting enough love or that you are not loved enough by others, perhaps it is time to take a look at how you are treating and loving yourself. Are you honouring yourself? Your needs? Your wants? Your desires? Are you taking good care of yourself? Are you choosing healthy relationships? Are you surrounding yourself with people who add to your life? Are you fulfilling your love needs or asking for them to be met? The more love you give to yourself, the more freely you can give and receive love and the more you are able to accept and allow love into your life.

What kind of love are you desiring? If it’’s more tenderness you are craving, how can you be more tender with yourself? Perhaps, you want to feel more compassion, how can you be more compassionate with yourself and your actions? Maybe you are feeling hurt or afraid and need to nurture yourself and reassure yourself that everything is going to be okay.  Do you want more recognition or acknowledgment – begin by acknowledging and recognizing your own efforts. How about self-forgiveness and unconditional love? Are you still punishing yourself for something from the the past? If this is the case, it’’s time to forgive yourself and set yourself free from your own personal jail.

Take this week and give yourself the gift of exploring your heart’s desire and begin to take steps to fulfill your love needs. Take this time to shower yourself with love, do special things for yourself and treat yourself with the tender loving care you so deserve. Loving yourself is the most precious gift you can give yourself. All it takes is a commitment and a willingness to be open to developing a loving relationship with yourself.  Start today by paying attention to your love needs and attend to them without delay!

‘”You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”‘ Buddha

March 2, 2010 at 3:13 pm Leave a comment

Yeah for Me – The Power of Acknowledging Yourself

It really strikes me that, in general, as a culture, most of us never really learn the importance of acknowledging ourselves or take the time to do so. Many of us are very good at looking at what we haven’’t done, what we need to do, where we want to be, what we “should” have done, comparing ourselves to others, what we want to achieve or what we think we need to accomplish to be happy. To develop greater self-esteem and to build a strong belief in yourself, you must acknowledge yourself for all that you are and all the little steps you have taken along the way big and small, minute by minute, second by second, each and every one.

What would life be like if you decided to sit down each day and acknowledge yourself for being you and for all the steps you have taken tiny, small, medium large and extra large. To acknowledge yourself does not have to a big thing or a big accomplishment like jumping out of a plane or winning a gold medal. Acknowledging yourself means recognizing yourself for everything, including, the steps in between, or the things you may think are too small or insignificant. For example, getting out of bed when you were feeling tired, learning something new, nourishing yourself, meeting a new friend, being on time for school or work, smiling at someone, getting a massage when your shoulders and back are sore, making someone laugh, saying “no”, researching an area of interest, taking a risk, doing something for you. All these steps along the way really count.

When you remember to “YEAH ME” and acknowledge all the little steps you take each day, you build your faith and confidence in yourself and your Destiny Becomes Limitless!

Take the time each day to make a list of 5 things you would like to acknowledge yourself for. Do this regularly and watch your belief in yourself skyrocket!

February 23, 2010 at 12:23 am 3 comments

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